No one is more surprised than me to see this picture of us with me as his bride, pure joy emanating from my face during our Harvest Moon wedding last September. I couldn’t contain my happiness during our wedding weekend and I can’t contain it now.
Because I was never getting married!
(And we all know what happens with our nevers).
Getting married was the first moment of my life I hadn’t planned. Seriously.
Pathetic, yes. True? Very.
I never imagined the dress, the ring, or the flowers. I LOVE a wonderfully styled tablescape and obsessing over centerpieces. It just wasn’t something I pinned, doodled, or dreamed of for myself. I loved my relationship with Joel and I didn’t think we needed the foo-foo to feel it. This changed once we were engaged as I was very particular about details. More on that later.
So you can imagine my surprise when Joel got down on one knee after a run to the lake on an ordinary Sunday. I said “yes, yes, yes!” before he even asked me anything. It’s crazy how life changes in a matter of seconds and I was stunned. I never imagined myself as a bride.
But, we all know what happens with our nevers.
I may have never imagined a wedding but I’ve always known Joel and I will be together the rest of our days. It didn’t mean I was fully ready before saying “I Do” though. Is anyone, really? Because I couldn’t have been ready for the outpouring of love we received from our family and friends. I couldn’t have been ready for how nervous I felt before the processional began. I couldn’t have known I’d feel light-headed in love for my soon-to-be husband. How I was unable to take my eyes off of him. How handsome he was. All the planning in the world wouldn’t have made me ready for the emotion that washed over me when I saw him across the dance floor and smiled. I’m blessed to be with him the rest of my life.
You can’t be ready for the magic Life gives to you but you can follow it. It doesn’t mean you’ll know what the outcome will be or that you’ll have all the steps figured out. You don’t need to have it figured out to believe in Love. You must believe it will open itself up to you. Love might look different than you imagined but the not knowing is the secret ingredient. The best thing to do is take it all in and soak it all up because you deserve good love, baby. Don’t let your nevers take you away from that.
I read a quote a few months into being newlyweds. It was from Erin Loechner of Design for Mankind and she says,
The very definition of preparation is “becoming ready.”
It is not “being ready,” or “getting ready,” or “the very act of readiness itself.”
It is becoming ready: the slow growth, the missteps, the process, the transformation…
We are The Bode’s. And we are Becoming.
There are so many more posts I’d like to write to share the details of our day because I never want to let go of the magic! Do you want to hear more? Anything specific you’d like to know more about?
All photos by Leigh Ann Cobb Photography